yoncevevo:

calling me “thirsty” isn’t even an insult it’s a known fact

gotitforcheap:

I was walking downtown and this group of guys were eyeing me like they were going to try mug me but instead they were like “yo we need a 6th man in our pick up game U down to play?” and then I fucked around and got a triple double and then Nicki Minaj materialized out of thin air and sucked my dick and was like “you’re the best basketball player alive and also your penis is really nice, a good size” 

dj-baby-bokchoy:

you could go to five or six stores
or… just one

dj-baby-bokchoy:

you could go to five or six stores

or… just one

o ggod i tried to ask my sister to fist bump and i accidentally said “fist me” i want to die

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

  1. girl: come over
  2. guy: im gay
  3. girl: my parents arent home
  4. guy: im literally gay

futuregroupie:

a disney movie where the princess meets her prince online

yooo follow me on wanelo

yooo follow me on wanelo

kaname-madoka:

(◕‿‿◕✿◕✿)(◕‿◕✿) FIRI IEDNYL (◕‿◕✿) (◕‿‿◕✿FR‿◕✿IEN ◕DLY ✿) REMINDER FRIENDLY (◕‿◕✿) reminder freminder that FRIENDLY REMINder friend ly re mider that it’s okay to ‿◕✿ friend

lisasedai:

i hate it when

there’s like a feeling in your gut that something is very wrong and the feeling is so strong that it makes you feel physically ill but the problem is that there’s actually nothing wrong so you don’t know what to do

and the feeling just doesn’t go away

haliilani:

Early Sunday mornings

haliilani:

Early Sunday mornings

jncos:

*snifts wine* do i detect a hint of grapes?